Epic TMNT
by dwitrevor
Summary: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in a basic epic poem format.
1. TMNT canto 1

Canto the First

The soldier Leo lead his misfit band  
Through shadows ninjas thought they would prevail.  
Their deeds were known but not the four by name;  
They fought evil but not for any fame.  
The acrobat Raph breathed a slow exhale  
Some punks had a woman beat to her last stand.

With whispery movement Red descended down.  
Snick-snack! Two strikes and the punks were disarmed.  
The woman screamed and dropped her camera: ran.  
These monsters bore no resemblance to man.  
"Stop her before the police are alarmed!"  
So Mikey dropped behind her like a clown.

And Donatello stepped into her flank:  
She was surrounded on all compass-points.  
"Friends," the purple turtle said carefully.  
Journalist, surrounded, dropped gracelessly.  
She knew that defeat might score her a few points.  
"Pee-yew, Mikey! You smell totally rank!"

Red said: "I'm Raph"; blue said: "and I'm Leo."  
Purple said: "Donnie"; orange said: "Mikey."  
Before she fainted, April said: "April."  
"What should we do? She knows way too much; still,  
Maybe it's time to let someone else see  
The Master Rat and his entire dojo."

Miss April awoke to a giant rat.  
It stared at her from across the room.  
April shrieked and backed up against the wall,  
Then turtles fell down and into the hall.  
"Aw, she's scared of us," Raph yelled with a boom.  
And April just wished she had a large cat.

This can't be real, April's thoughts decided:  
"Turtles and rats can't talk," she provided.


	2. TMNT canto 2

Canto the Second

Recycled garbage was everywhere:

Old C.R.T. monitors, broke T.V.'s,

Pizza box fortresses, and old couches.

But the place was free of roaches;

Too much filth made the Master Rat displeased.

Take care of home, and then take care out there.

Quiet, industrious Donatello

Tinkered carefully with a computer.

Beside him were security cams.

While he worked, the other turtles were clams.

The dojo needed a shield from looters:

While Mikey watched his favourite T.V. show.

April had come and gone back to her home

With a turtle promise: she will be safe.

A couple cams are for her apartment:

Home near - they could be there in a moment.

Blue Leo and Red Raph began to strafe:

Ralph's exhaustion could be seen from his foam.

And Master Splinter, the Great Master Rat,

Was in his room, meditating on fact.


	3. TMNT canto 3

Canto the Third

"Cool costume! What are you supposed to be?

Dinosaur?" "I was going for turtle."

"Yeah, I don't really see it; sorry bro."

He took his coffee, and Donatello

Took up his grey cape, and embraced in wool,

Returned to the sewers when no one could see.

A man in a hockey mask saw Donnie,

And followed him into the deep sewers.

He evaded every trap by watching,

And pulled out his stick for some high-sticking.

If Donnie turned a few moments later,

He would have been out cold, not on his knee.

The vigilante and the turtle fought.

A flurry of movement with wooden arms

Indecipherable to those without

A lifetime of training for just this bout.

Donnie promptly kicked one of the alarms.

The man in the mask fled, just as he ought.

Then Michelangelo asked, "who was that?"

And Raphael said: "let's go ask the rat."


	4. TMNT canto 4

Canto the Fourth

So Donatello and his family

Around Master Splinter sat and listened.

They considered what to do with Casey:

Their laid now known to the vigilante.

Raph said: "we must stop him." Bit the wizened

Rat replied: "he must be brought before me."

The ninjas disbanded and went their way,

Raph to the surface to find the masked man,

And Leo to practise upon the air.

Mikey and Donnie, prepared their home lair,

Each exploit corrected to Donnie's plan:

No entry permitted except by they.

"Look who I found at the sewer entrance:

He followed me home - can I keep him please?"

"The name's Casey Jones and I'm not your pet.

Now can you summon your master, and let

Me say what I want to the big old cheese?"

Then Master Splinter came out of his trance.

Rat: "welcome, Casey, to our secret hideout;

You're welcome to stay, except when we're out."


	5. TMNT canto 5

Canto the Fifth

The Master Rat spoke to his patient son.

"Time for me to tell you about the Foot,

A devious clan controlled by Shredder."

The Rat paused; Don waited for his Master.

"To know the clan, you need to know its root:

My Master was slain by this self-same one.

"They hide in shadows, and know all our deeds,

And soon they will start a confrontation.

Young Donatello, my son, please prepare,

As all of your thoughts are up in the air.

We need your logic and your deduction,

But you must also fight against these weeds."

Don went to his room and pulled out his staff.

Cluelessly, he tried to discern its use;

Against fellow ninjas it might not work.

Sun Tzu taught him strategy and to lurk.

Don stretched his muscles until he was loose,

Then went to the powerful fighter, Raph.

"Train me," he said in his straight-forward way.

"Thanks Donnie, now you've wasted my whole day."


	6. TMNT canto 6

Canto the Sixth

"Your movements are far too direct, Donnie;

You should not be stopping my momentum,"

Coached Raphael, "when I attack high: block?"

"Yes, I block." "Well, you move like a rock.

For the smartest of us, you're kind of dumb.

Look at my posture; just you watch and see."

Raph moved like fire: uncontainable.

Donnie's eyes opened with understanding.

"Please attack me again, dear Raphael."

When Raph attacked, Donnie moved like a gale:

He blew the fire out and left a smart sting.

"Good, good, my brother: you are capable."

The twins bowed their heads and parted their ways.

Donnie went to his alcove to think more.

After hours of practise, he succeeded.

He was confident, but not conceited;

He pulled out a book of martial art lore.

Chi energy points was under his gaze.

And all through the night, Donnie thought of forms,

As the other turtles slept in their dorms.


	7. TMNT canto 7

Canto the Seventh

The cameras in April's apartment

Suddenly went black. Don hit the alarm.

He tied on his mask, and donned his long cloak;

He grabbed his staff. "Don't fail me now," he spoke.

He tested its strength against his own arm:

Prepared to fulfill the promise he meant.

They scurried from holes and up fire escapes.

And when they got there, April was unharmed.

Donnie studied the camera system,

And determined the wires were cut by Them.

"It's a diversion! The sewers are swarmed

By the Foot, a clan of villainous apes."

They raced through the sewers with April in tow.

When they arrived, his worst fears realized,

The ransacked lair missed Master Splinter.

While they were away, they let in Shredder.

Raph howled; Mike fell to his knees; Leo eyed

April, and handed her a small crossbow.

"Patience is a virtue," said Master Rat.

Now more than ever they acted on that.


	8. TMNT canto 8

Canto the Eighth

While the turtles rebuilt their shattered home,

And April practised her new-found weapon,

The vigilant Casey entered the lair:

"I saw what They did, and followed Them where

They each entered a building, one-by-one.

The door turned to stone, and my eyes did roam,

But no way in I could possibly find."

The turtles took heart, and had some faint hope;

But, first they rebuilt their security.

From the dangerous traps to the itty

Trip-wires, the place was booby-trapped with rope.

There was no way in for those unaligned.

With no one left home, out through the sewers,

The turtles and April and Casey Jones

Set off to discover the Foot's lair.

They moved in the shadows; the street lamps' flare

Avoided like the automobiles' drones.

Raphael: "ready are my twin skewers."

They arrived at the door, but it was closed.

Donnie looked at it, then sat and reposed.


	9. TMNT canto 9

Canto the Ninth

As Donatello tried to decipher  
The code in the bricks, the Foot appeared,  
Phasing out of the shadow dimension,  
Showing weapons to get some attention.  
One held a weapon so sharp that it sheared  
Light into dark: an enchanted cleaver.

April jumped and a sharp steel bolt let fly,  
But it was plucked easily from the air.  
A silence fell over the combatants.  
Raph measured up and down his opponents,  
But none quaked even so much as a hair:  
Their competency assured with his eye.

The clothing they wore was blacker than black,  
And their weapons complemented their stealth.  
The outcome of this fight was uncertain:  
Until it began, no revelation  
would reveal the true colours and true health  
Of those who donned the suit of the Foot pack.

So Donnie trusted his brothers to fight;  
Instead, he'd bring the lock's secret to light.


End file.
